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| Thursday, January 27, 2005 |
| Suicide for dummies |
Alternate titles for this post:
The Idiot's Guide to Killing Yourself
Chicken Soup for the Suicidal Soul
No, I don't think suicide or suicidal feelings are something to poke fun at. Too many people, including yours truly, have felt that bad at least once in their life. But I think this guy really takes the cake. Having decided to kill himself, Juan Vasquez (or Valdez? some Hispanic name) parks his car (every news report needs for some reason to point out that it was an SUV) on the railroad tracks in Glendale, CA. At the last moment, he decides he either doesn't want to die this way, or at this time, and gets out of his car and runs away, leaving the car where it is... a chain reaction eventually leading to the death of at least 11 people and injuring over 100 more. He's now being held without bail in a jail ward of an unnamed hospital, where he has attempted suicide twice, to no avail. He will probably be charged with murder for each person dead, and might face THE DEATH PENALTY.
Now, why didn't Alanis mention something like this in "Ironic"?
Meanwhile, in another part of the world, Colin Farrell has to re-shoot love scenes with the 14-year-old co-star of a movie about Pocahontas and the British guy she gets involved with. Yeah, apparently someone who saw the dailies of Colin and the girl going at it were terribly offended so they had to re-do it and blah blah.
Why can't I be the Native American teenager who not only makes out with Colin Farrell, but got PAID to make out with Colin Farrell, and then has to make out with him again? Some people have all the luck, and some people have to read about it on the IMDB gossip, I mean news column.
I got this spam e-mail today promoting "Mortgage assistance - the Christian way!" What do they do? Give you cash back from the collection plate? Get Jesus to plague your current enemy (that is, mortgage company) with locusts unless they lower your interest rate? I'm really curious. Not curious enough to actually read the e-mail, though.
This morning I was amused to see that either Red Lobster or Sizzler has changed their commercial about shrimp cocktails. In it, a guy is fantasizing about said shrimp cocktail, and imagines himself running on a beach towards the shrimp with open arms. Up until today, every time I've seen this commercial, the shrimp's tail or whatever is curled up towards the guy. This morning, I noted that the tail is now in the back. I always thought tail in front looked kind of weird, but I have a dirty mind, so I didn't think they'd ever change it. I wonder who complained? The Christians who are ranting about gay Spongebob, I suppose. I wonder if they're also the same ones trying to assist me with my mortgage? It's a small world.
Anyway, about commercials, I'm looking forward to Superbowl XWhatever this year, to see what good old Budweiser has come up with. My only hope for the big game this year is that there's no stupid booby mama drama - not because I'm offended by breasts (that would make showering difficult) but because it was REALLY BORING to have to deal with the 11 months of complaining that followed.
Besides, if there's going to be nudity, I want it to be something I DON'T see everyday, like cute male bum for instance.
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posted by Yvonne Hernandez @ 10:25 AM
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| About Me |
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Name: Yvonne Hernandez
Home: California, US
About Me: I hate numbers, but I'll throw some at you: 24 years old, 30 purses, 100 lip glosses, 200 books, 1 new celeb crush a week, 2 much procrastination, 2 dogs, and 2 blogs where I obsess over all these things. This, is one of them.
See my complete profile
Or, you can go all stalker-style and also see my MySpace profile.
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